Ambivalent Love Addicts
Love Addicts (ALA’s) crave love but also fear it. Because
of their ambivalence, they do one or more of the following:
Love Addicts (ALA’s) crave love but they also fear it.
avoid intimacy altogether by obsessing about love through romantic
fantasies about unavailable people.
only get involved and obsess about people who are emotionally
become addicted through romantic affairs rather than committed
become addicted to people and then sabotage the relationships
when their fear of intimacy comes up.
initiate relationships with more than one person at the same time
in order to avoid moving to a deeper level with any one person
and then become addicted to the whole group.
break up and make up over and over again in the same relationship
and become addicted to this pattern.
sexualize relationships to such a degree that emotional intimacy
is non-existent and then become addicted to the sex and the relationship.
matter how addicted they are, they cannot commit to the future.
They live in the moment.
can love, commit, obsess and even become addicted, but this will
go hand in hand with avoidance tactics like a difficulty with
affection and opening up emotionally. They are there and they
are not there. They come close and then move away. They let other
things outside of the relationships get in the way, i.e. hobbies,
work, friends, lovers, addictions—anything. They just cannot
open up to a deeper level of emotional intimacy and yet they are
unable to let go of the relationship.
are ambivalent for different reasons and to different degrees.Treatment
is the same as that for the love addict—self-awareness,
a support network, change, and the 12-Steps of LAA.